New disaster

This morning the return of the rolling got me to up on deck.There I found
out that we wereagain without mainsail. It opeened up in the upper part
between the back line and the front.Jean-Paul made it clear to me that in
his mind I was responsible for that new incident for havingset the main
sheet to tight when we got beccalmed during the night and I set the main in
the mddle while restarting the engine and that pulled to hard on the back
of the sail and caused the backline to rupture and then the sail to open
up. JP has every right to be mad at me after the hard work he put in for
the first repair. He is now attempting to repair again. I should not allow
myself to be depressed, but I am. Impossible now to know when we will
finish and to think that it probably is my doing is not a` joyful thought !
To make matters` worse, the wind has dropped considerably and we are moving
at 3.5 knots ! And there are still 1030 n.m. to go. You can do the maths.